I need SSI spirit!!!

Sometimes, when i think back, i wonder how i managed to study so much when i was in SSI. I remembered 1 month before SPM everyone was already "piah" like hell and i think i faced my books at least 10 hours a day. I don't know how many times i have run over the three 400+ page Fokus Physics, Biology and Chemistry. And how many essays in Chinese, English and BM I've written to improve my writing skills. How i managed to memorize those moral values with definitions without losing 1 word. Hundreds of mathematics exercises, 名句精华 etc. I'm really amazed by the amount of work that i've done to prepare my SPM. And lucky enough, i've got the result that i wished(Except 1119 which is a shame to me, but nvm, i don't use English nowadays lol).

Then when i look at myself now, i think i really have become a lot more lazier, well maybe not lazier, but just have lost the motivation that keep me study. First, there's no more goal like getting straight 1As or getting the JPA scholarship. You pass the exam and you pass your year and finally you graduate. I wouldn't say it's very easy to pass an exam in ESTACA, since I've already failed three papers before, but if I do my homework correctly and revise a minimum, i can still pass(touch wood, don't 好的不灵坏的灵).

Then, there's no more SSI's "kiasu" spirit. In SSI, you would wanna study when you see the others study. You feel guilty when you see the others are studying while you are fooling around, so what you do is you also follow them to study. And since there's a ranking of exam results, if you wanna get into top 10 then you need to study. But now, i don't really care about it, 'cause there is no ranking, so as long as i pass I'm happy already.

Last time in SSI, for my case, if I study hard i could always get the wanted result, but this is not the case in ESTACA. You can study very hard but there can be unexpected questions in the exams which you can never think of it. As a result, my heart also gets cold as time goes. I know that I'm no more in secondary school where everything follows the syllabus, in an engineering school like mine, as one of the heads in ESTACA said before, they want to form quality engineer and not engineer who can only recopy resolution method, so there are always unexpected questions which require reflexion.

Internet is the pricipal criminal. In secondary school time i didn't have my personal computer, and no broadband like i have today. It's really hard to study with my computer beside, but I've a very bad habit that is whenever I'm awake at home, my computer is always on, if you don't believe, you can see that my MSN and YM are signed in most of the time. What facebook la, blog la, youtube la, youkou la, these rubbish make me pass a lot of time in front of my PC rather than my books. Like now I've wasted another half an hour on this thing...

WHERE

ARE

YOUUUUUU

MY

S

S

I

STUDY

SPIIIIRITTTTT